The Shadow of Your Smile

As I was going about my morning today, I stumbled upon this song and reminded me how much I love it so much!

Tony Bennet reminds me of my Dad. I remember how he often listened to his music and would pretend he was Tony Bennet as he would sing to my Mom. I’m thankful for good memories as my Dad has not been the same since his stroke in Feb 2002. Our entire family had to adjust to the new norm. Having these good memories also helps me remember of who I used to be before getting so sick with Fibromyalgia. As I really lost a sense of who I am.

Talking to long time friends recently brought me back to my darkest days with Fibro and helped me remember how far I’ve come! When I have my quiet moments, He helps me see how my suffering and hardship all these years happened for a reason. His divine reason. Once I stopped denying and fighting this nasty disease, I became more at peace and felt content despite the onslaught of daily pain. The kind of contentment that it’s okay if I don’t heal right away. Or be cured. Once I did this, I became more focused in my journey of healing.

It was then I realized my ULTIMATE healing was not going to come from food, exercise, etc.  It has helped me heal and is continuing to help me heal.  But God is the one who put me on the road to healing.  I was again reminded I am not my own!  And though I lost a sense of who I am, I was pointed back to the reality that my true identity is in Christ alone.

As much as I wanted to take control of my healing, I was reminded God is in control and He will heal me in His time. My creator is my ultimate healer. He is the SOURCE OF EVERYTHING I’ve been able to find to help me heal. And He still continues to provide as I walk this journey.

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