Stab In the Back

Simply put.  It’s been 2 years since I no longer feel a stabbing pain on my left scapula. EVERY SINGLE DAY I felt like someone was stabbing my back since 2007.  Talk about having someone really stab me in the back!

Also, my high blood pressure eventually normalized as I noticed even taking Felodipine and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I continued to have fluctuating high blood pressure and a shooting pain on my left eye that felt like it would explode any minute.  So my head also felt like exploding.  And, yes, I felt these symptoms everyday as well. Eventually, more symptoms disappeared.

I was so excited to scream it to the whole world the first time I no longer felt it on a chronic basis as I’ve felt hostage for so MANY years!  But I’ve learned to wait for my symptoms to go away as it takes time for my condition to be reversed.

These resulted sometime after my amalgams and permanent retainer were removed as I felt another level of healing.  And this was done in a series of visits as my body would not have been able to handle toxic removal all at the same time.  I later learned it’s because amalgams has mercury in them and a permanent retainer has nickel in it.  Both VERY LETHAL to the human body.  As I mentioned in another post, they were acting like a battery in my mouth!

I haven’t even mentioned that I still had root canals in my mouth at the time I had the mercury and nickel removed!  As I didn’t learn until later that my root canals had moderate acute and chronic inflammation and fragments of viable reactive bone.  My Bio-Dentist was emphatic on the removal of “root cadaver canal” teeth (as he referred to them) due to its potential and actual impact for some on general systemic health. Which I obviously exhibited with my Fibromyalgia condition.

An excerpt from an article written by The Center for Natural Dentistry says, “We have found that fatigue, regardless of the underlying disease, is primarily associated with hypersensitivity to inorganic mercury and nickel.”

Mercury and Nickel Allergy: Risk Factors in Fatigue and Autoimmunity

Now, I don’t know if having root canals alone can cause so much health problems.  And it’s true that there are others who have root canals and seem to be doing okay.  So, with that said, this is a personal decision.  I agreed to get all this dental work done because my body was already failing me.  Fibromyalgia is also a systemic issue, so that alone convinced me that it needed immediate attention.

So this past Thanksgiving, Christmas and as 2014 almost comes to a close, I couldn’t help but reflect and be sooo THANKFUL my body continues to heal as each layer is addressed.  I feel like a soldier no longer dodging bullets and stepping on land mines but I am bruised and injured and needing time to continue to heal.

Humbled and grateful I can be a wife and a mother again as I was truly losing my identity.  And getting a second chance in life.  I am slowly getting my life back even if it’s one year at a time.

How In the World Did I Survive?

I had no idea God would use my chronic condition to help me see how He can work in the biggest storms in my life. I had the hardest time trying to explain to people what I was feeling as my Fibro symptoms grew each year and kept attacking my body 24/7. It grew chronic and happened everyday. I really just wanted to die.

When someone has Fibro and related conditions, it’s not just musculoskeletal. It is neuromuscular, musculoskeletal and systemic symptoms. It is a dysfunction of the nervous system. And it attacks the body at the cellular level. Your body just gets pounded by huge turbulent waves one after another. It doesn’t stop.

And when it stops, you don’t know how long of a break you have. Then it starts all over again. And gets stronger in frequency and intensity. You begin to lose your identity. As it takes over your life. How in the world did I survive?

Psalm 69.1-3 “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.”

But Christ doesn’t fail! As He, even in the middle of a great tempest, can be at peace as He was asleep in the middle of it as mentioned in Matthew 8. He didn’t take away my chronic pain sooner as I wanted Him to…but He did give me peace, comfort and grace to go through it.

Today, I feel like I just left the battlefield where I am no longer in the front lines getting shot at and stepping on mine fields everyday. But I am now on a ship with my comrades injured, bruised but healing. I am not out of the woods. But thankful my nervous system has quieted down A LOT! And I will continue to wait for God to do His work in me. Because I have learned to trust in Him as He continues to prove Himself to be real, faithful and true. He is full of mercy and grace. As at the end of the day, it is all about Christ who lives in me.