Happy Birthday to my Dad!

Today, I remember my Dad.  As he would’ve turned 85 years old!

Time really heals all wounds.  But I am finding that there will still be times when it hurts really bad because I miss him so much! It hasn’t been a year so it’s still fresh but God’s abundant grace and mercy have been truly my anchor.  Jesus Christ is my rock and my redeemer.  And continues to give me peace and comfort because He is in control.

“In whose hand is the life of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind?” Job 12.10

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it abundantly.”  John 10.10

I continue to look to Christ as I miss my Dad.  And know He has made everything beautiful in its time.

65 Years Strong

Today my parents have been married for 65 years.

Though my Dad passed away 3 months ago, their marriage continues to be alive in our hearts. There is not a day I don’t think of my parents as an example of showing unconditional love to each other.

Their marriage was far from perfect yet filled with so much hope and love which they truly exemplified in their lives.

Marriage is a commitment which pictures God’s grace and mercy.  And they believe in that truth and lived it out.  Thankful to have personally witnessed it in their lives.  Because they followed the original design of marriage, they have been blessed above and beyond!  And their children continue to benefit from their blessings as we personally see it being passed down from generation to generation.

Through good times and bad times, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.  My parents truly showed me and my siblings how our marriage vows should be lived out.

So thankful and blessed to have them in our lives.  Happy 65 years together Mom and Dad!  ❤

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Unconditional Love

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things; believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.”  1 Corinthians 13.4-8

This beautiful couple showed me and my siblings how it looks like to love one another.  Unconditionally.

Today, as we celebrate Valentine’s Day, and knowing what it’s all about, I can’t help but think of my parents who were more than just attracted to each other.  As they grew in their marriage, they learned to go beyond feelings and took the next step of loving each other unconditionally.  They learned how to think of each other and serve one another.  There is no such thing as a perfect marriage as we all get selfish.

But year after year, I witnessed their marriage beautifully blossom.  Especially, sometime after my Dad had a severe stroke. Whereas Dad had always been the provider and leader of the home, now he needed my mom to care for him in every way (big and small).  Man, did my mom step it up.  It was then I personally saw the diamond of God’s love shining in their marriage from a whole new angle.  As they both learned to continue to show unconditional love to each other.

Their new “norm” could’ve broken their marriage.  Instead, it made their marriage stronger and continued to grow for 64 years!  Despite the difficulty of my Dad having to recover from his stroke, my Mom and Dad were a picture of unconditional love between a husband and a wife.   What a beautiful display of God’s love and common grace to all men and women!

In sickness and in health, till death do us part.  They truly lived it.  My hope and prayer is to emulate their example in my marriage.  So blessed and thankful for my parents as I have lived to see what  true romantic Valentines really look like!

 

 

“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey…”

As we begin a new year, many of us try to set goals.  The question is whether we can keep them or not.

I’ve had to set many goals as I was faced with the fact that my condition needed to be approached with a multi-disciplinary treatment plan in able to be successful in my healing journey.

It hasn’t been easy to say the least!  Through trial and error, I’ve been able to get back up each time I’ve fallen and continue to remind myself it’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.

So with that said, I may have fallen many times but by God’s grace and mercy each time I get back up this Fibro Mom is more resolved to keep moving forward!  Fibro does not identify me.  Christ does!

Ready to tackle 2015!

Stab In the Back

Simply put.  It’s been 2 years since I no longer feel a stabbing pain on my left scapula. EVERY SINGLE DAY I felt like someone was stabbing my back since 2007.  Talk about having someone really stab me in the back!

Also, my high blood pressure eventually normalized as I noticed even taking Felodipine and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I continued to have fluctuating high blood pressure and a shooting pain on my left eye that felt like it would explode any minute.  So my head also felt like exploding.  And, yes, I felt these symptoms everyday as well. Eventually, more symptoms disappeared.

I was so excited to scream it to the whole world the first time I no longer felt it on a chronic basis as I’ve felt hostage for so MANY years!  But I’ve learned to wait for my symptoms to go away as it takes time for my condition to be reversed.

These resulted sometime after my amalgams and permanent retainer were removed as I felt another level of healing.  And this was done in a series of visits as my body would not have been able to handle toxic removal all at the same time.  I later learned it’s because amalgams has mercury in them and a permanent retainer has nickel in it.  Both VERY LETHAL to the human body.  As I mentioned in another post, they were acting like a battery in my mouth!

I haven’t even mentioned that I still had root canals in my mouth at the time I had the mercury and nickel removed!  As I didn’t learn until later that my root canals had moderate acute and chronic inflammation and fragments of viable reactive bone.  My Bio-Dentist was emphatic on the removal of “root cadaver canal” teeth (as he referred to them) due to its potential and actual impact for some on general systemic health. Which I obviously exhibited with my Fibromyalgia condition.

An excerpt from an article written by The Center for Natural Dentistry says, “We have found that fatigue, regardless of the underlying disease, is primarily associated with hypersensitivity to inorganic mercury and nickel.”

Mercury and Nickel Allergy: Risk Factors in Fatigue and Autoimmunity

Now, I don’t know if having root canals alone can cause so much health problems.  And it’s true that there are others who have root canals and seem to be doing okay.  So, with that said, this is a personal decision.  I agreed to get all this dental work done because my body was already failing me.  Fibromyalgia is also a systemic issue, so that alone convinced me that it needed immediate attention.

So this past Thanksgiving, Christmas and as 2014 almost comes to a close, I couldn’t help but reflect and be sooo THANKFUL my body continues to heal as each layer is addressed.  I feel like a soldier no longer dodging bullets and stepping on land mines but I am bruised and injured and needing time to continue to heal.

Humbled and grateful I can be a wife and a mother again as I was truly losing my identity.  And getting a second chance in life.  I am slowly getting my life back even if it’s one year at a time.

How In the World Did I Survive?

I had no idea God would use my chronic condition to help me see how He can work in the biggest storms in my life. I had the hardest time trying to explain to people what I was feeling as my Fibro symptoms grew each year and kept attacking my body 24/7. It grew chronic and happened everyday. I really just wanted to die.

When someone has Fibro and related conditions, it’s not just musculoskeletal. It is neuromuscular, musculoskeletal and systemic symptoms. It is a dysfunction of the nervous system. And it attacks the body at the cellular level. Your body just gets pounded by huge turbulent waves one after another. It doesn’t stop.

And when it stops, you don’t know how long of a break you have. Then it starts all over again. And gets stronger in frequency and intensity. You begin to lose your identity. As it takes over your life. How in the world did I survive?

Psalm 69.1-3 “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.”

But Christ doesn’t fail! As He, even in the middle of a great tempest, can be at peace as He was asleep in the middle of it as mentioned in Matthew 8. He didn’t take away my chronic pain sooner as I wanted Him to…but He did give me peace, comfort and grace to go through it.

Today, I feel like I just left the battlefield where I am no longer in the front lines getting shot at and stepping on mine fields everyday. But I am now on a ship with my comrades injured, bruised but healing. I am not out of the woods. But thankful my nervous system has quieted down A LOT! And I will continue to wait for God to do His work in me. Because I have learned to trust in Him as He continues to prove Himself to be real, faithful and true. He is full of mercy and grace. As at the end of the day, it is all about Christ who lives in me.

Happy Despite All Things

I saw Despicable Me 2 awhile ago with my family and never really paid much attention to the Happy song played in the movie. Until this past month due to my teens playing it once in awhile at home.

As I listened to the lyrics, it got me more interested in it and found myself listening to it more and more!

You see, I am really learning how to be happy despite all things. It hasn’t been easy for a very long time. I’ve gone through MANY ups and downs. It has gotten so bad at times to the point of depression. But things are continually getting better each year. And I can actually say I am happy despite all things!

And this past weekend, after celebrating another year of life, I am reminded difficulties in life exist to make us stronger and discover our hidden potential. And see God’s blessings first hand! I cannot even begin to tell the world how many blessings I’ve experienced due to my hardship! I am just receiving one blessing after another!

Very thankful!

When Fears Are Stilled And Striving Cease

Today the true story behind Easter is because He died on the cross so that we might live!

I didn’t fully understand this until I became a Christian. Even then it took years for me to fully comprehend WHY He would go to the cross and die for all who would believe in Him. We have turned our backs on Him. I have MANY times did not believe in Him yet He showed me unconditional love by calling me to Himself!

I cannot help but be drawn to His irresistible grace! In Christ alone, my hope is found.

My paths directed

In all my years of Fibromyalgia, my faith in Christ has been my rock and my salvation!  I have learned to really trust in my Abba, Father more. Proverbs 3.5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean NOT on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Then in verses 7-8, it says, “Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil, it will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.”  These verses from scripture and many others have guided me over so many years.  Especially when my health went spiraling down and I had to begin a journey of climbing my way back out of fibromyalgia!

I’ve said in the beginning when I launched my website, it is going to be about everything related to healthy lifestyle.  Well, being resolved in my trust in Christ is the healthiest decision I’ve made when I got really sick.  As I personally saw Him pull me back out of very impossible situations with my fibro!  And He is still doing it today as I am not completely out of the woods.

As fibro has given me a multitude of symptoms to deal with, I am able to say “In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.”  Psalm 94.19